Letters
by snewman1976
Summary: So much is unsaid between them. They went their separate ways. He wrote to her but never sent them. What happens when she finds them after a horrible incident. This is my first Fan fic please be kind. Things always sound better in my head
1. Chapter 1

She slowly walked into his apartment. She had been there many times before, but somehow this time it didn't feel right.

She felt like she was invading his privacy, walking in without him by her side. She didn't really know why she was here. She just wanted him to have some personal items even if he wouldn't know.

This was completely out of her element. She was being completely irrational. People in a coma were not aware of their surroundings. She understood that studies showed that speaking to the patient could be heard on a subconscious level, but personal items did nothing. Yet she couldn't help herself.

She guessed it could be possible that guilt brought on this change. She couldn't understand why he always felt the need to protect her. She could take care of herself. This was the 2nd bullet he had taken that was meant for her. She has lost count of how many times he has saved her life.

She looked around his place. She knew him well. She knew which items held the most value to him on a personal level. Sentiment, another concept she usually didn't understand, but felt drawn to in this moment. She spent too much time with him; he was rubbing off on her.

She set down the plastic tub she brought to pack the things she would decide to choose. She took a deep breath and began her search. The first thing she decided on was a photograph of him and Parker.

That gave her an idea, she would look around for additional photos that she thought he would like to have surrounding him.

She slowly walked into his bedroom. She took another deep breath to calm down the surge of emotion that hit her. His bed was still rumpled from the last time he had slept in it. He would probably be sleeping there now if it weren't for her.

If she hadn't insisted all those years ago that she be allowed into the field he wouldn't have sustained as many injuries as he had. If he woke up… no… when he woke up she would reevaluate the situation. She could assist him just as well from the lab.

Regrets, she had told him that she didn't want to regret shunning his advances. He was with Hannah so he turned her away. She had deserved it. She allowed her own insecurities get in the way. He had said he needed to move on and he had.

Now she was filled regrets. He was angry, angry that the women he loved turned him away. Angry and lonely, and now he may never open his eyes again.

She went to his closet and opened the door. If he had more photographs they may be stored there. She pulled some clothing for him, just in case.

There were many things stored on the top shelf. She thought she saw a photo album in the back. On her tip toes she reached back and dislodged it from its place. As she pulled it out a shoubox fell and crashed to the floor emptying its contents across the floor.

She squatted down and picked up several sealed envelopes. There had to be 20 or 30 there. They were all addressed with her name.

She put them all back in the box as she had found them. Instead of putting them back where she had found them she put them in the crate and finished gathering some other items.


	2. Chapter 2

She placed all the items around his hospital bed. She inserted one of his favorite CDs into the player she purchased for him.

When had she opened herself? When had she allowed herself to feel? She spent years letting no one get to close. Then she started at the Jeffersonian… then she began working with him…

She turned back to the shoebox. She sat down in the chair next to his bed. She knew she should not look but she rationalized that they had her name on them so it would be alright.

There was a folded piece of paper amongst the envelopes. In Booth's almost unintelligible handwriting it said: _If anything happens to me, please make sure Dr Temperance Brennan receives these letters._

Each letter was numbered. She placed them in order noting that the only unnumbered letter was addressed to Parker Booth. She placed that in the back of the others to decide what to do with later.

She inhaled deeply and with shaky hands opened the envelope labeled as number one.

_Dear Bones,_

_ It was just a few short hours ago that we said our goodbye. I already miss you. I know, I know stupid right. But I guess after 5 years of being together all the time, you just get attached. Well at least some of us do. I know you don't share my feelings and that's ok. I am getting over it. Maybe this time will help me to move on. _

_ I am not trying to make you feel bad or anything like that, but I figured maybe letting it out will help me to heal. You have been the best friend I could ever have hoped to have. You gave light to my life when times were dark. I am a better man for having known you. _

_ I do owe you an apology, probably many, but at the moment one has always stuck in my mind. Maybe this one can also count for any others you are owed._

_ I apologize for arresting your family .Angela was the only one who stayed true to you refusing to testify at your father's trial. I should have looked away. Duty is one thing, but loyalty should have come first. I should have been working for you and not against you, and for that I will be forever sorry._

_ I had never liked working with a partner, probably as Sweets would say, stemming from Army buddies I lost. Working with you, though, was great. You are the only person I would ever want for a partner again. Without you I would rather be alone, possibly in all aspects. But I don't want to get into that at the moment._

_ If you thought flying coach was bad you should see what Army flights are. We are all stuffed in a cargo bay. I will never complain about coach again._

_ I can only hope that I am doing the right thing. They said I could help save lives. I want to save lives. Leaving Parker behind kills me, so did leaving you. I guess that part doesn't matter seems as you were leaving anyway. Doing the job without you wouldn't have been the same._

_ The plane is about to land and I should hold on to something to avoid being a ping pong year that's it. Then we will meet again._

_ Love your partner, Booth_


	3. Chapter 3

She looked at his face. He looked so peaceful, like he was sleeping. She supposed a coma was like a very deep sleep. Too many times she has spent in the hospital with him.

Why did he have to always be the hero? Why had he noticed the small red light on her head? Why couldn't he just let her face the consequences of her own actions? She chose to do this type of work, she knew the risks.

Cruel as it sounded she wished it was him sitting in this room with her. She didn't want him to feel the pain she currently felt, but she didn't want to experience it either.

She took another deep breath and opened the next letter.

_Dear Bones, _

_ I never realized how lonely you can feel when surrounded by hundreds of people. I am trying to get to know these guys, but I don't really want to. They are a bunch of kids, just kids, many just barely out of high school. The sad fact is a smiling face today can be getting zipped in a body bag tomorrow._

_ Being back in the desert reminds me of all the guys we lost when I was here last. You never get over those kinds of things. All I can do is the best I can to help fewer body bags from being shipped home._

_ I can't seem to get you out of my head. Sometimes I can hear your laugh. I don't think that you will truly know how much you really mean to me. All these years and we never took a photo together. I didn't have anything to bring to be able to see you. I don't actually need one though whenever I close my eyes you are there. _

_ I think back to when we first met. I did know. I felt attracted to you from first sight. It may or may not have been love, but it was something special. The longer we were around each other the stronger it grew. _

_ When I woke up from the brain surgery it was so consuming. After the dream of us being together it was all I wanted. I tried to fight it, but no man could ever be strong enough to win that battle._

_ I love you Bones. I love you more than any woman I have ever known. I wish you had given me a chance, but understand that it wasn't the same for you as me. Don't feel bad, I never want you to feel bad. I don't want you to hurt. I wish I could take all your pain away. I wish that you never had to hurt. I would take all your pain on myself if I could. _

_ The main thing I want you to know above all else is that no matter where you are that you are loved. Truly and deeply loved. Nothing will ever change the way that I feel about you. I will always be there for you no matter what. I don't care that we can only be friends and partners; it is worth it just to be able to be a part of your life._

_ Love Always, Booth_

_Dearest Bones, _

_ It's been a while since I had time to write. It doesn't mean that you aren't always in my thoughts. I don't have much time. It isn't like a classroom here. Training is in the field. _

_I saw to kids die today. All I could think of was Parker. I know he is younger than that, but seeing them so young I couldn't help it. _

_My next thoughts were of you. How I know I would be so much stronger with you by my side. You make the job so much more tolerable._

_I have to go. Early patrol in the morning. I should try and sleep. I can only hope that my dreams will be filled with you instead of what I see here._

_ Thinking of you always, Booth_

_Dear Bones,_

_ A week since I last wrote you. I don't know why I am doing this. I don't have anywhere to send them to. Got word from Cam today. She says that the whole team as dropped off the planet. In your words everyone went their separate ways and haven't stayed in touch._

_I guess I write them now for myself now. I don't have anyone else to talk to about anything. Being able to talk to you even if you never hear it puts my mind at ease. I have always known I had feelings for you, but never realized how much I needed you. _

_I work every day to get my emotions under control, so that when we meet again I won't be awkward. I don't care how you are a part of my life as long as you are. I value your presence in my life and never want to do anything to jeopardize that._

_ Missing you, Booth_

She looked up from the last letter with tears in her eyes. If only she had been as true to herself as he was. Her thoughts drifted to the last conversation or rather argument that they had had.

"_I want you to stay in the car, Bones. We only know where Tanner is, Cooper can be anywhere. The brothers are close if Cooper is anywhere around there is no telling what he will do if he sees Tanner getting busted."_

"_When will you get it through your head that I am perfectly capable of handling a situation? I am not a child booth. I am a rather good shot if I need to be. We are partners. I am your back up."_

"_No the units on their way are my backup, you are an anthropologist. Stay in the car. I can't do my job and keep an eye on you at the same time."_

_She sat and fumed but didn't say another word. They arrived to where the witness had said she had seen Tanner. Booth_ _got out of the car and ran into the building. Less than 30 seconds later Brennan followed._


	4. Chapter 4

Brennan got up to stretch her legs. She walked over to his bedside and kissed him gently on the forehead. She walked from the room to get something from the cafeteria. Memories of all their time together flashed through her mind.

She returned about an hour later and picked up the box again. She debated if she should continue to read his innermost feelings. Was she betraying him? She thought she owed it to him to continue reading to gain perspective. At least that is how she rationalized invading his personal writings this time.

_Dear Bones, _

_ I hope you are finding your missing link, or at the least having a better time than me. I thought I could handle all this, but now I have my doubts. Every day it just gets harder._

_ Lost some more kids these past couple weeks. The only thing keeping me sane is the thought of getting home to Parker and to you. I don't even care about the job anymore. I am tired of death. I have seen my share, and delivered much more than I care to remember._

_ I killed 2 people today. I had to. I justify it by telling myself that they can't hurt any of my guys now. But I keep thinking that they had a family too. Is there really a good and bad side in war? Who is right and who is wrong? I am a soldier; I do what I am told to do. That doesn't mean I don't have my doubts._

_ The thing I don't have any doubts over is you. I wish I could hear your voice and see your face. The longer I am here the harder it is for me to remember. I don't want to forget. I don't want to forget anything about you. The memories are strong, but the pictures are fading. It worries me that I am losing that. _

_Really missing you, Booth_

_Dear Bones, _

_ Have a weekend pass. Wish you were here to share my time with. There are no lights out here. Looking at the sky reminds me of the night we sat on my truck after the alien chemical dump case._

_ If only you could see it here. There are no trees here just sand. It isn't quiet though. Bombs, gunfire, noises of war everywhere. Only when I am writing can I forget how horrible it is. _

_ I run through each case we ever had. When I do it isn't, the crimes I remember it is my time with you. So many times I wanted to kiss you and was afraid. Funny huh. All the things I have done in my life and what scares me the most is you. I can't lose you, Bones. _

_ I'm kind of glad I can't send these. Not that I think I would ever have that kind of nerve. For you to see all this makes me feel like a fool. A fool in love with a woman who doesn't return the feelings. _

_ I want to ask what is so wrong with me; so wrong that the mother of my child and the love of my life don't want me. Why am I just not good enough? At least I still have you as a friend. At least I think I do. I have done my best to not mess that up to much. _

_ Before you left though I had doubts that you didn't even want that anymore. Was it the job or me that was driving you away?_

_ I promised some guys I would go out with them so I guess I should get going._

_ Love you, Booth_

The next envelope was heavy. It contained something other than paper. She opened it and shook out its contents. A large caliber bullet fell into her hand.

In an instant her memory flashed back to the incident that landed Booth into this room_. Booth busted the door to the apartment the witness had given. Tanner immediately took off out the window and up the fire escape, Booth right behind him. _

_Brennan headed back for the stairs and began running up checking each floor for any commotion giving sign that Booth was there. She opened the door to the roof and saw the too wrestling._

_Tanner let out a kick to Booth's face and then quickly got up to run. Brennan took off after him. Booth had already injured him so he was rather easy to take down. One hit and he was unconscious and she had his arm pinned behind his back, just in case. Booth would be appreciative of her help, but she knew he would be too obstinate to admit it._

_She looked over and saw him approaching. He looked at her as a parent would when disapproving of their child's behavior. She felt the heat of anger rising to her cheeks._

"_Bones what did I tell you ab…" The expression on his face changed. A range of emotions Brennan couldn't quite decipher flashed over his face. The rest seemed to go in slow motion. She saw a glint of read in her eye but didn't give it much thought._

"_B…o…n…e…s" he yelled as he sprinted to her location. He dove at her hitting her so hard she didn't even hear it._

_ Her head hit the ledge of the roof and she saw stars. She felt the full weight of Booth hit her, but then it was gone. She opened her eyes ready to harshly reprimand Booth for his actions but she didn't see him anywhere. Neither did she see Tanner. She heard many sirens from the road and the squealing of tires. _

_ She was instantly angry. Booth had tackled her and then taken off after Tanner leaving her on the roof. She shakily got to her feet, her hand holding her head. It was only then that she felt the moisture on her face, neck and chest._

She shook the memory with tears in her eyes. She pulled the letter out and began to read.


	5. Chapter 5

_My Dearest Bones,_

_ Something happened a couple days ago and it made me realize that I need to let everything out. Some of it may be repetitive To what I have written before but I need to make sure everything is said._

_ I was hit. I took 5 rounds to the chest. My vest did its job .A couple pierced through but were slowed enough that they barely entered my body. A couple kids weren't so lucky. They were barely 10 feet away but the vest didn't stop them good enough._

_ The doctor said that the round in this letter came within an inch of hitting my heart. They found it lodged in my ribs. _

_ Can you believe it 10 feet closer or an inch deeper and I wouldn't be writing this. You would have gotten a pile of letters that were incomplete. I have a couple buddies that have orders to get these to you somehow in case I don't make it._

_ You deserve the whole truth though. You deserve to know everything. I owe you that. I owe you that and so much more._

_ From the first time we met I knew you were special. I knew there was an attraction there, but I didn't know exactly what it was. You know guy meets girl, guy thinks she is hot, guy wants to see how far it goes. At least that is what I thought in the beginning. _

_ The more we worked together, the more time we spent together the stronger the attraction grew. I am not exactly sure when I knew it was love. I just know it got to the point that whenever we were close I wanted to be closer, the slightest touch made my heart skip a beat._

_ I knew I wanted to be with you long before I ever told you. Every time I saw you with another man I felt physical pain. I was so jealous that you were willing to be with them and that you showed no interest in me what so ever._

_ Want changed to need. I didn't only want to be with you I needed it. I was so grateful that we at least had our partnership. I was grateful that even if I couldn't share my whole life with you I could at least share part of it._

_ That night I told you I wanted to take the gamble and you turned me down my heart shattered. I wanted to walk away completely. I never wanted to see you again it hurt so badly, but the look on your face when you asked if we could still be partners I couldn't refuse you. I could never refuse you anything. _

_ To this day I would give you anything I could if even to just bring a small smile to your face. When you left that night you took several pieces of my heart with you. You still have them and you always will._

_ I have tried to move on. But I can't and I never completely will. Every day with you hurt. Knowing that all I would ever be to you is a partner and friend left wounds that will never fully heal. The best I could do was keep them from festering. To put on a mask and hide from you how I truly feel. _

_ Saying goodbye to you at the airport was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. One year we said, one year 'til we meet by the coffee cart by the reflecting pool. That year may as well be an eternity. Every second away from you seems a lifetime._

_ Sometimes I wish I wouldn't make it home, just so I don't have to go on with life without being with you. I know it is foolish. I have my son and that should be good enough, but it isn't. I'm not suicidal by far; I just don't want to feel like this anymore._

_ I don't want to feel incomplete. I don't want to feel this lonely. Even with the little effort I put in to be with other people didn't work. There was always an empty space where you belong, nothing and no one can change the way I feel about you. Ever._

_ Temperance Daesee Brennan I love you with all my heart and soul. I will love you until the day my soul no longer exists. You are the light in the darkness that surrounds me. You are my reason to be the man that I hope that I am. _

_ If ever you should leave this world, know that I will die with you. My heart may beat, my lungs may breath, but I could never truly live without you._

_ I know you do not feel the same and I can live with that as long as you are still part of my life._

_ If you get this you will also get the bullet that made me realize how short life is. The bullet that told me that the truth has to be known not matter the pain that it causes._

_ You have the pieces of my heart; they will be your forever to do with as you wish. I will continue to hold together what is left and go on. You will never be alone, I will always be with you no matter where we are. _

_I had to get all this out for me as well as for you. I hope one day I am strong enough to give it to you myself. I don't want to hurt you, but just want you to know how special you really are._

_I will try harder to get over you, so as not to make our friendship as awkward for you as it makes me feel. I will hide my emotions better so as to spare you any discomfort. I never want to do anything but make you smile._

_Eternally yours, Seeley Joseph Booth_

Tears now streamed down Brennan's face. She saw what appeared to be dried water droplets that had smeared the ink on the paper. She looked at the bullet she held in her hand and that day filled her mind.

_She reached up and touched the moisture; her hand came down and saw that it was red. Blood. She turned to look where she had fallen and saw more. Too much. She did a quick examination to herself and realized it wasn't hers._

_ She crept closer to the ledge of the building. She looked down only to see Booth lying in the alley below in a pile of trash. She could see the blood pooling around his head._


	6. Chapter 6

**Authors note.: I hope you all are enjoying the story. Thanks to all of you who have reviewed. **

_Dear Bones,_

_ I don't know how I feel about what I wrote last. I still believe you need the truth, but am also afraid it will bother you. I don't want you to think I am trying to obligate you to anything just to spare me the hurt._

_ I am a big boy and can take care of myself. I just know that after everything with your family that you often feel alone. I don't want you to feel that way at all. There are so many people that care about you. _

_ Heard from Cam again. She said she has heard from everyone but you. Got some pictures from Angela and Hodgins. Seems they are living it up in Paris. Cams got a new job. She doesn't seem herself though. She's holding back so I don't know what it is._

_ I hope you are alright. I figured you would at least have stayed in touch with Angela. I hope soon someone will hear some news about the great stuff you have found so I know you are ok. I worry about you Bones._

_ I know you don't believe in God, but I pray each night that he keep you safe. _

_ Love you, Booth_

_Hey Bones,_

_ I met someone. You would probably like her if you guys met. She reminds me of you in some ways. Strong willed, opinionated, smart… well not nearly as smart as you, but still smarter than me. _

_ She makes this place a bit more bearable. Somehow when I am with her I feel guilty though. I feel like I am betraying you, cheating on you in a way. Does that make any sense?_

_ I still love you, Bones. That will never change. At least she is a distraction. Almost like she is an aspirin, dulls the pain a bit, but it still hurts. The pain is worth it, it means I can feel. It means you are there and real. As the old saying goes "It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all." You have shown me what true love is. For that I will be forever grateful._

_Forever thinking of you, Booth_

_Bones,_

_ Hannah is great. I still think of you, but I almost feel no pain anymore. Sometimes I wonder if it is fair to her. I feel like I am using her to get over you. I do care about her, but not like I do you. We see each other whenever she has an assignment here. She is a war reporter. _

_ Maybe this is for the best. It will be so much easier being around you now. I know that is bad t say but I don't think I could have survived being around you again for very long the way I was. Got to go, meeting Hannah. I still miss you_

_Booth_

Brennan didn't know if she wanted to read anymore. She knew Hannah would be in the rest of the letters. How could Boot h think she didn't love him? Was she not clear enough when she rejected him, that she was protecting him from her? From her problems.

Brennan argued with herself for over an hour. Part of her wanted to see Booth's innermost thoughts, the other afraid of the pain they would cause her. She decided to risk it.

_Bones,_

_ Life is so much easier with Hannah. I have something to look forward to now other than just going home._

_ People are still dying. Am I really doing any good here? Have I changed anything? Maybe my only reason for coming was to get over you. Maybe to meet Hannah. I don't know what to think anymore._

_ I know I still love you, but I am able to push it to the back of my mind now. I do still hope we can work together when we get back. That is of course if you decide to stay. Maybe you will like the old bones better then the fresh ones. _

_ I guess all we can do is wait to see. Meeting Hannah again so I should go before I am late. Hope all is well with you._

_Booth_

_Bones,_

_ I think I am in love. My head is so clear now. I find that I can smile and laugh without forcing it. Whenever I am away from her I can't wait until we are together again. I've been thinking about maybe staying for another year._

_ I watched my guys do some great work today. They said I taught them well. Maybe I am making a difference. I wonder what parker will think of Hannah when they meet. We are thinking of taking leave together; maybe fly parker to some great vacation spot. It will almost be like having a family again._

_ Oops gotta go she is walking up, can't be distracted._

_Booth_

That's when she lost him. She was almost had him back until the incident on the roof.

"_Booth!" she yelled. He didn't move. _

_ She could hear the commotion on the other side of the building. She heard shots being fired, but barely registered them. She pulled out her cell as she ran for the stairs. She dialed 911 and told the operator that an FBI agent was down on the east side of the building._

_ She burst out the back door to the building to see several agents and the paramedics surrounding where Booth Lay. She pushed her way through. She could hear people talking to her but couldn't understand the words. _

_ She felt someone pulling her away by her arm as the paramedics finished putting him on a gurney and wheeled him away. He was head was covered in blood and his skin was ghostly white. She couldn't tell if he was breathing or not. _

_ She now had to hands holding her arms tightly forcing her to look in his direction. Her head finally cleared a bit, at least enough to comprehend what he was saying. She recognized him as another FBI agent._

_ "Dr Brennan… Dr Brennan… can you hear me." He said_

_ She looked at him and nodded, she couldn't yet find her voice._

_ "We are going to need a statement from you, but we can get it after we arrive to the hospital. I know how close you and agent Booth are."_

"_Booth" was all she could say._

"_The paramedics say his pulse is week, they wouldn't say what they thought his chances were but he is strong, Dr Brennan. Anyone who took a 5 story fall and the ticker is still working has something good on his side." _

_She knew he was trying to help calm her down but her mind was rational. She saw the blood. She saw how far he fell and the angle in which his body had landed. She knew some of what Booth had been through in the past, but he was getting older. How much more can his body take._

_She sat in the waiting room pacing. Everyone from the lab was there as well. They had tried to comfort her but she wouldn't accept it. This was all her fault. If she had just stayed in the car he would be ok now._

_The other Agent had told her the brothers were dead. Apparently Conner was on the roof. They couldn't make it past all the agents that had arrived and what he described as suicide by cop had ensued. _

_She didn't care about that now though. It brought only the slightest bit of comfort that the man who had pulled the trigger was dead. What she wanted to know was how Booth was. That was what no one had been able to tell her._

_Conner was using a pistol with a laser sight. That had been the brief red she had seen before it all happened. That had been what Booth had seen to make him come at her. He saved her. How could she live with herself if he had died for her?_

_Hours passed before she heard the doctor call out. "Family of Seeley Booth?"_


	7. Chapter 7

She looked at him lying so still in the bed. It should be her, not him. She recalled all the injuries that she knew he had endured. She thought of how many she didn't know about. He had made his whole life about protecting others. He was always so willing to sacrifice himself.

The doctor walked into the room giving her a slight nod as she checked the charts. Brennan's memory flashed back again.

_"Family of Seeley Booth"_

_The whole team jumped up. Brennan was the first to her. But Jared was the first to speak._

"_I'm his brother, these are all his closest friends. Is Seeley alright?"_

"_Mr Booth…"_

"_Agent… Agent Booth" Brennan quickly corrected_

"_Yes, Sorry. Agent Booth has suffered some severe injuries. We retrieved a bullet which was embedded in the inside of his skull, approximately located here." She pointed to the left rear of her skull to demonstrate. _

"_The bullet entered at the glabella or here" she gestured to the area just above the brow line right between his eyes._

"_The bullet entered at such an angle that instead of entering the brain it followed the curvature of his skull leaving a groove until it came to a stop. We noted very little if any brain injury caused by the bullet._

"_However, due to the fall after he was shot Agent Booth suffered Additional head trauma. We had to drill holes into his skull to help alleviate some of the pressure from the bleeding and swelling. We also put him on a ventilator to add additional oxygen to decrease the swelling._

"_We had to give him a transfusion due to the amount of blood loss. Agent booth has suffered numerous fractures the most concerning being the C2 vertebrae and the L1 vertebrae. He is being monitored in the ICU, but I am afraid to say Agent Booth is in a Coma. All we can do is wait and see how well he will recover from his injuries. It will be a couple hours before he can have visitors. If you check with the nurses in that area they should be able to give you the information. I am very sorry."_

_No one said a word. No one knew what to say. The doctor waited a few moments and then turned and walked away._

Booth was right. Hind sight is 20/20. She wished he had given her the letters. She wished that she had known the depth of his feelings before now. She knew he had cared, but she had always thought it more of a sexual nature or infatuation rather than love. She had pushed her feelings so far aside that she couldn't even be sure what they were anymore.

Brennan didn't believe in love. She didn't want to believe in love. She had been deserted too many times, hurt too many times. She looked at the letters that were left. She inhaled and exhaled deeply before opening the next envelope.

_Dear Bones,_

_On the plane back home. Looks like we will be seeing each other sooner then we thought. Well at least I think we will. I assume that Caroline contacted you as well._

_She was pretty vague on what was going on. I was ready to come back anyway. Saved a kid which was great, but his mom said something that really made me think. Her husband was being an interpreter over in Iraq. She said that the kid wouldn't have been taken and all this wouldn't be happening if he was where he was supposed to be instead of fighting someone else's war._

_That made me think of Parker. I need to be there with him. Not on the other side of the world. I hated leaving Hannah though. Her job is so important to her. I couldn't just expect her to up and leave as much as she couldn't expect me to stay._

_We are staying together though. We are going to try a long distance relationship. She travels a lot and anytime she makes it into the states we will get together. We love each other I know we can make it work._

_I can't wait to see the gang. It seems like so much longer then 7 months. So much has changed, but I bet when we are all back it will be just like when we left. I can't wait to see you Bones. I even want to hear all your stories from your adventures._

_Booth_


	8. Chapter 8

**so psyched that Season 7 is a go.** **Here it is a bit early**

_Dear Bones,_

_I am so sorry. I didn't know what to say. I am so confused now. I had pushed my feelings for you down so deep and covered them with Hannah that I hardly felt them anymore._

_You had been acting so weird I was getting worried about you. Everyone was. When you almost got hit by that car I was so scared. Feelings or not, I can't stand the thought of losing you. You are to important to me._

_I love Hannah, But I love you too. I don't think you could ever understand how that feels. I wanted to take you in my arms so badly, but I couldn't. Hannah, she gave up so much to be with me here. We started a new life together. Seeing you cry like that though, reopened wounds I thought had healed._

_I have never cheated on a woman in my life, but part of me wanted to with you. I am not that guy, who can just jump from woman to woman. I can't just leave her to be with you. That's not fair to any of us. I wouldn't be me if I did. You would never be able to trust that I wouldn't do that to you someday, and I could never hurt Hannah like that. _

_She is a good woman, but right now I think she deserves better then me. Better because I actually considered it. I am not the man I thought I was. _

_Booth  
><em>

_Dear Bones,_

_I have to apologize again. I had to tell her, I couldn't kee a secret like that from her. She deserved to know. Somehow I feel like I betrayed you though._

_I have to push my feelings for you away again. I can't be committed to her with you constantly in my head. We had our chance. More than once even and we missed it. I have to close that book of my life because I have already opened another one. _

_The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you. No matter what you think I still care about you._

_Booth_

_Bones,_

_What is wrong with me. Why doesn't anyone want what I have to offer. I don't get it. Is all I am good for is sex and companionship. Am I not good enough for any kind of commitment. I give my self entirely but don't even get half that in return._

_I am so mad. Sweets pointed out how old I am. He doesn't want to be like me and be alone. Hell right now I don't want to be me. I can almost see your point now. _

_Maybe love doesn't exist. Maybe it does just not for me. Maybe I am supposed to be alone. Maybe this is my punishment for taking so many lives. I just don't see the point anymore._

_Booth_

_Dear Bones,_

_I'm afraid again. Whenever we talk about us, you talk about sex. I want more than that. Sex is always a plus, but I am not a kid anymore. I want someone to share my life with, and I just don't know if you are wanting the same thing._

_I don't think my heart can take another blow like that. You still have and always have had pieces of my heart with you. If you break it again, I don't think I will make it through. I have to risk it though. I can't not take the chance on not trying. You are the love of my life. I waited 7 years for this chance and the gambler in me has to take it._

_I just don't know how to feel you out and see what you are thinking. I don't know if I can talk to you about it without messing it up. I love you Bones, I always have and always will._

_Love, Booth_

That was the last letter. So many thoughts fluttered through her mind. So many things she wanted to tell him, but was it all too late.

He has been in a Coma for almost 2 months now. He isn't getting worse but he isn't getting better either. All they are told is just wait and see.

He is healing, but without him being conscious they just can't tell what all damage was done. The broken vertebrae could very well have crippled him. The amount of brain damage is unknown.

If he did wake up, he may not be the man he was before. The only thing Brennan knew right at that moment if that she was in love with him and would never leave his side.


	9. Chapter 9

**Authors Note: I hope you guys are enjoying the story. Thee should only be one chapter after this. I may consider writing a sequel if you guys are interested. Review and let me know. **

Brennan replayed the conversation she wanted to have with Booth over and over in her head. All the things she wanted to tell him. Somehow she just couldn't speak the words, so she decided to do the next best thing

_Dear Booth,_

_ I am afraid. So afraid of losing you. I accidently found your letters looking for some things to bring to the hospital for you. I read them. I feel bad for invading your privacy but I am also happy that I did._

_ If I hadn't have read them I would not have been brave enough to tell you everything that I am about to. To say it simply I am very much in love with you also. I know longer think of love as the secretion of chemicals in ones brain._

_ I am damaged. My behavior that has protected me in the past is no longer useful. It has prevented me from having a happier life. A happier life with you. I regret that I had caused you so much pain in trying to protect myself from pain. _

_ I regret that I may have waited too long and that it may be too late. I to have known for a great deal of time that I had deep feelings for you. I was just afraid to risk my personal security for anyone. I was very selfish. _

_ I am sorry I was so self consumed that I did not take notice to what I was doing t you. You never deserved to be treated that way. I should have known that through all the times you had been there for me, that you would have never done wrong by me._

_ I was also afraid of losing what we had through our work. I am not afraid any longer. I Haven't worked much since the incident that brought you here, I consult with the team when needed via the internet._

_ I would like to hope that when and if you wake up that we could continue work where we left off, I also understand that as long as I am with you I will be happy. I choose love over work, if I must make that choice._

_ It has been so long since I have seen your eyes and heard your laugh. I hope that soon I will again. No matter what I am here for you. I am here with you by your side, and I will never leave it. _

_ I don't care how long you are here. I will be here every day for as long as they allow. You are loved Booth, by everyone and most of all by me. One day I hope to be able to tell you with more than a piece of paper just how important you are to me._

_I love you, Temperance_

Brennan read this letter to him every day for 3 more months, hoping that subconsciously he would hear it and come back to her. An important find was made in Israel and the government would allow no one but her study the remains. Tears came to her eyes as she gently pressed her lips to Booth's and said her goodbyes.

The team, Jared and her father promised that someone would visit him each day. They made a schedule but it didn't set Brennan at ease. She had promised him she would be there every day.

The team however was glad to see her go. Five months she sat by his side. They watched the light in her eyes die. She blamed herself for what had happened but even then they knew there was more to it. They tried to get her to talk but she never said a word.

She left the sealed envelope on his bedside table as she left. With it a not that it only be opened and read by Booth himself. She took one last look at him with tear filled eyes and then left the room.


	10. Chapter 10

About seven months later, Brennan was close to finished with the project. They had found a few things that normally would have made her feel ecstatic, but she felt nothing. Her heart and mind was back in DC with Booth.

After 2 months of daily calls. She stopped. She had all but given up hope that he would recover. Part of her had died inside. She now knew of everything her and Booth had argued over through their partnership to be true. He was right.

She scheduled her flight home the day before the anniversary of the incident. She felt the need to be there for Booth that day. She was still riddled with guilt. She never listened to him, she was wrong.

As she walked the terminal searching for Angela, she thought back to the day booth had had her ambushed in the airport. She couldn't help but smile a little. She was so distracted she didn't notice the man in front of her until she collided with him.

His crutches crashed to the ground and she grabbed him as he stumbled to stop him from falling. She was mortified that she may have caused injury to an innocent bystander due to her daydreaming.

Mumbling apologies to the man she helped him stabilize his balance and scrambled to gather up his crutches. Face crimson she handed them to him and for the first time actually looked at him.

"Thanky you." Was all he said.

Brennan's eyes grew wide and jaw dropped. She couldn't speak; she just stared at the man. She began to doubt her own sanity. She had finally lost it completely. Tears flooded her eyes and she began to back away.

"I thought you would be happy to see me Bones." H said with his same old charming smile.

She didn't know what to think. She couldn't believe it was real. She didn't know if she wanted to run, kiss him or punch him in the face.

"How? What?" She couldn't complete a thought.

He hobbled towards her opened his arms and held her in a deep embrace. Her tears fell like a waterfall soaking his shirt.

"We have a lot to talk about. How about we find a quiet place to sit, I tire a bit easy these days." He said.

She clung to his side as they walked towards the airport coffee shop. She was somehow afraid he would disappear if she let him go.

"I'm sorry" he finally said. "I asked that no one told you when I woke up. It's been a rough couple months and your work is important to you. I didn't want you to feel you had to leave. I was a bit out of it. Couldn't remember much, couldn't talk. Could hardly move. They thought it was paralysis at first because of the broken back and neck, turned out it was just my muscles quitting on me. I have been doing extensive physical therapy. Doc says in a month or 2 I won't need these things anymore."

All she could think to say: "Is this really happening? Am I dreaming? If I am I never want to wake up."

"It's real, I promise. I am here. I'm doing great. In a while I'll be back at work and we will do our thing again, assuming you still want to."

"I love you!" she blurted out "I love you. I'm in love with you. I'm sorry I read your letters, but I am so glad that I did. I was a coward. You gave me strength."

"I love you too Bones. I always have. Angela read me your letter after I woke up. I didn't remember much, but I remembered you. I knew you were there. I knew. I'm not mad, I could never be mad at you. They were for you anyway."

She leaned in and he followed. Their lips met and they melted into each other. When they finally parted they both smiled. They knew at that moment that they were throwing their fears to the wind and that they were going to be with each other.

Who knew that a few pieces of paper could do what years of partnership couldn't?

**Authors Note:**

**Ok so this is the end of this part of the story. When I finish my other story (Cave Grave) I will start on the sequel to this one. I already have plans running around my head. I haven't decided on a title yet. I hope you all have enjoyed this. Thank you to all who read and especially to those who have taken the time to review.**


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